I am very uneven in my moods and extremely sensitive to the moods of other people, my environment and the weather. In my love of Winnie the Pooh I have identified many of the characters into four sub-personalities:
3. Pessimistic-Fun-Suckers – These melancholic personalities are kind and gentle, but can’t find joy in anything. Eeyor is prime example of this with his “Everyone gets to bounce but me.” statement. Even Piglet was a pessimistic fun sucker because anytime anything went wrong, the world was about to end.
I am, at one time or another, all of these and sometimes all within the same day. I am not suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder or anything of the sorts; I am simply that dynamic in my mindset from one moment to another. I wear my feelings on my sleeve most of the time, especially with those that get to know me more than just spending a few hours a month doing something I love (photography).
There are times though in which I can really get sucked into melancholic spiral that is hard to recover from. It is at these times that one of two things will happen; I will dwell in the spiral until a breaking point is hit, or I get up and do something about it to make a change proactively.
Photogeddon is about being proactive. It is about putting everything I have into my photographic art. Much like Armageddon is about the final battle of good versus evil, Photogeddon is about my battle against the things that remain in my way of success as a professional photographer. The things standing in my way include; me, finances, work/life balance, my day job, family, traffic, phases of the moon and just anything else that can be blamed for success or failure in life.
I was recently invited by a fellow photographer to join him and other local photographers on an overnight photo excursion. While at first I was excited to participate, I soon started doubting what I would get out of an all night shoot. Then I started wondering, “Gee, this is Oregon in fall… it’s going to rain.” Then I stooped into the “WTF is the point” mentality. Just to give you an idea of how my mind works:
8:10AM – I read the Email Invite
8:12AM – I reply with a positive yes
8:30AM – I wonder what I would get from a shoot like this.
9:45AM – I speculate that it will likely rain making the event miserable.
10:15AM – I start doubting my ability to take quality photographs.
11:00AM – Over lunch I contemplate my dedication to my craft.
12:30AM – I get the idea of walking the earth. What does that mean? I am not sure, but would include liquidating all my belongings, save some of my camera stuff, and head out on foot, to walk the Earth. Unplug from the corporate grind and vanish off the grid, travelling by foot to destinations unknown until I felt satisfied. It is very Kwai Chang Caine-like in its meaning, but probably more Forrest Gump in its execution. There is that inner critic coming through. SHUT UP YOU!
2:00 PM – I come up with Photogeddon.
Back in February of this year I came across a little video by Zack Arias called Transform. If you have not seen it, you probably have been living under a rock without any access to the internet, but if you are reading this now, it is definitely worth a look. For me it came at an important cross road of my decision to go pro. And now, I am seeing that I NEED to go watch it again for a little refresher and uplift from this slump I am feeling today.
So let me get back to Photogeddon. I am going to attack, with the full force of my mental armies, the enemy that is self-destruction. The process for me is much like a Twelve-Step program.
1. I will stay involved in developing myself and others. I will go to the overnight shoot with fellow photographer, rain, sleet, snow and inner critic be damned, and I will experiment and play but most of all I will have fun.
2. I will share my results with you here. Good, bad or indifferent; I will share and accept feedback constructively, even when the feedback isn’t so constructive.
3. I will help others. I am going to help others improve their craft and develop their voice.
4. I will believe in others.
5. I will motivate myself. I will watch Zack’s Transform video as well as his Creative Live series again. I will read informational and motivational blog posts.
6. I will take five photos each and every day. I will share these photos here with the title of Photogeddon – Day X.
7. I will try; day after day, week after week and month after month. This means every day I will do something new and stop living/reliving in yesterday’s success/failure.
8. I will continue to develop myself. I will attend Joel Zak’s Artist’s Way for Photographers workshop in January. I will attend Kevin Kubota’s Digital Photography Bootcamp® next year and each year following I will attend two or more workshops.
9. I will believe in myself. If I can’t believe in myself, how can I believe in others? I have the knowledge. I have the talent. I have the drive. I just have to believe it and I will from now on.
10. I will put my foot in the ass of all my critics; my inner critic included. There will be no more fear in my life. No fear of failure. No fear of success. No fear of disappointing myself or others.
11. I will take one day off from my day job per month and spend that day developing my photographic voice and style. This is not an exercise of mimicking others, but actually developing my own voice, my style, my own self.
12. I will share my voice with the world.
This does not start tomorrow. This does not start next Monday. This does not start next week. This starts now! And to prove that to myself, here are my first five photographs, taken today as I walked out of work to head home.
This is Photogeddon – Day 1.
|Photogedden - Image 1|
|Photogeddon - Image 2|
|Photogeddon - Image 3|
|Photogeddon - Image 4|
|Photogeddon - Image 5|